Q: What goes black and white, black and white, black and white, boom?
A: Collingwood falling down the ladder.


Q: Which Pie is likely to win this year's Copeland Trophy?
A: Four 'n' Twenty


Two kids were having a kick in the car park outside the MCG just before a big Carlton and Essendon match. As they were playing a dog came running across and attacked one the the little kids. The dog was on top of the kids scratching and biting him so his mate who he was having a kick with pick up a stick and started to bash the dog with. Well in the end he belted the dog so hard he actually killed.

A news reporter witnissed this event and came rushing over for an interview. She said to the boy " that was great you just saved your best mates life, this could make a great story."

So the lady started think of headline....

"Carlton Supporter saves best mate from savage dog attack". No said the boy i am not a carlton supporter.

"Essendon supporter saves best mate from savage dog attack". No said the boy i am not a carlton supporter eiher. so the lady asked who he barracked for and he said collingwood.

The next days headlines where " Low Life Mongrel Maims Family Dog"


What do you call a Collingwood supporter that has an abortion?
crime-stopper!

A Good Collingwood family (is there such a thing?)
A Family of Collingwood supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting . While in Rebel Sports the son picks up a Richmond footy jumper and says to his 10 year old sister, "I've decided to become a Tiger supporter and I would like this for Christmas". His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him round the head with her carton of Winfields and says, "Go talk to Mum.

Off goes the little lad with the Richmond footy jumper in hand and finds his mother. "Mum?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Tiger supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas". The mother is outraged at this and throws her moccasins and a full stubbie of VB at him, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "lets go talk to your father".

Off they go to Pentridge during visiting hours with footy jumper in hand and find bubba, his father. "Dad?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Richmond supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas". The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head with his fists and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT", and then kicks him from one end of the rec. room to the other for further good measure.

About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home (Reservoir). The mother turns to her son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?" The son says, "Yes knackers I have." "Good son, what is it?"

The son replies, "I've only been a Richmond supporter for an hour and already I hate you Collingwood bastards."

These three friends all die at the same time and eand up at the pearly gates where Albert Einstein is waiting for them. The first chap approached and Alby asks him,
"What is your IQ, my good man?"

"250" the chap replies.

"Ah excellent. We can participate in meaningful and articulate discussions with my mates Plato and Newton about the Theory of Relativity, Chaos Theory, Astrophysics and the Theory of Everything. We will have much to discuss. You may enter."

The second fellow approached the gate and Albert asks him the same question.

"150" was the reply.

"Ah good. We can discuss the fascinating subjects of History, Philosophy, Economics and Sociology. We will have much to discuss. You may enter."

The third chap approaches the gate nervously.

"Now my good man, what is your IQ?"

"50" the third man replies sheepishly. To which Alby's response was ....

"How about those Pies, hey?"


Eddie McGuire goes to Carlton for a meeting with John Elliott. After the meeting, John says to Eddie, "Well Eddie, I don't know what you think of your players at Victoria Park, but mine are all bright and brilliant."

"How do you know?" asks Eddie.

"Oh well, it's simple", says John. "They all have to take special tests before they can play here. Just watch this." He calls SOS over and asks him, "Tell me SOS, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"

"Ah, that's simple John", says SOS, "it's me!"

"Well done SOS", says John, and Eddie is very impressed.

Eddie returns to Collingwood and wonders about the intelligence of the his team. He calls in Nathan Buckley and asks, "Nathan, tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"

Nathan thinks and thinks and doesn't know the answer. "Can I think about it a bit more Eddie, and I'll give you the answer tomorrow?"

"Of course," says Eddie, "you've got 24 hours."

Nathan goes away, thinks as hard as he can, calls in his team-mates but no-one knows the answer. 20 hours later, Nathan is very worried - still no answer and only 4 hours to go. Eventually Nathan says "I know, I'll ring Leigh Matthews, he's clever, he'll know the answer."

He calls Leigh. "Leigh," he says, "tell me who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?"

"Very simple", says Leigh, "it's me!"

"Of course", says Nathan and rings Eddie.

"Eddie", says Nathan, "I've got the answer: it's Leigh Matthews". "No, you idiot", says Eddie, "it's Stephen Silvagni".

Not really that funny when they are winning.

sixers33, they are gold, even if Collingwood are winning. That just puts the falling down the ladder joke even more in perspective!

You're as funny a Kochie sixers33!

Respect, Sixer33

Restecp Sixers 33.
Go Tiges!

what's so bad about me?
My English is good. I don't post like it on forums tho.

Perhaps if you posted less frequently and with a bit more substance to your posts.

i don't know.......

Geez, come up with something original Sixers33, those jokes are eons old (look that one up).

I take it you're the sort of person who laughs at their own jokes, considering you replied to your own original post with something almost as long as a novel.

i am not mark davis.

i am not a port supporter.

and these were made a while ago.

no

Duuudes, a forum is a forum, can't people post whatever they like? Leave it to Isaac to do the policing. And the pies have Buckley's chance of winning it all this year

Loserface thinks if anyone wanted pages of rehashed old jokes they could google it. Loserface is all for posting jokes, links to clips and so on but continual pointless posts that are taking news from other sites/forums and posting it here is getting old. Although Loserface applauds the enthusiam shown by *certain* posters Loserface implores them to think for one moment before posting.


{[ Loserface has spoken]}

huh?

it is a fact that all collingwood supporters are drongos and retards just admit it.......

fuck all collingwood supportes

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A COLLINGWOOD SUPPORTER WHEN....

YOU THINK A LOADED DISHWASHER IS YOUR DRUNK WIFE....

Collingwood are such crap!