Isaac
Years ago
Kiwi walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
The man says: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."
Statman
Years ago
Gold - But the Kiwis next door didnt seem to find it funny at all......must have been a bit close to home!
HO
Years ago
I thought you were trying to avoid litigation Isaac!
Some politically correct joker will be all over this.
Thomo
Years ago
Kiwi walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies: "I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
The man says: "I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."
Kent Brockman
Years ago
why dont kiwis take their wives to the cricket?
because they jump the fence and eat the grass.
thank you i will be here all night, try the veal.
Thomo
Years ago
for those who want a australian joke about Xmas watch this is Very Funny
http://ralph.ninemsn.com.au/media/video/ozxmas.wmv
Dwayne Johnson
Years ago
How many Kiwi's does it take to change a lightbulb?
Like they have electricity in New Zealand anyway!
yogee
Years ago
John Blackman wants to know why your stealing his gags Isaac :o)
pest
Years ago
How does a kiwi find a sheep in the tall grass.............
Very satisfying
im a kiwi.. ive heard them all
(Mod: Classic!)
The Drake
Years ago
Whats the 3 biggest lies a Kiwi will tell you ?
1. His mother was a Maori princess
2. He was once an All Black
3. He was only helping it over the fence.
EC
Years ago
One of my personal favourites as I can relate to this very well.
WORK VIRUS
There is a dangerous virus being passed around electronically, orally and by hand.
This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take 2 good friends to the nearest pub. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE).
The quickest acting WINE type is called Swift-Hitting-Infiltrator-Remover-All-Zones (SHIRAZ) but this is only available for those who can afford it. The next best equivalent is Cheapest-Available-System-Killer (CASK). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
Forward this warning to 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life. This virus is DEADLY (Destroys-Every-Available-Decent-Living-Youngster).
Update 05-01-2006: After extensive testing it has been concluded that Best-Equivalent-Extractor-Remedy (BEER) may be substituted for WINE but may require a more generous application.
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