What's Hot/What's Not - GF edition

People like DC's old stuff better than his new stuff.

What's Hot:

• Deanne Ranford, 26 points on 11/18 shooting.
• Jo Matthews, 23 points, 9 rebounds on 11/16 shooting.
• Double Clutch losing 5kg in the first week of a diet, getting some new tight jeans and green metro shirt that matches my eye colour. That's right women, get a number and wait in line because it's going to be the summer of Double Clutch. These jeans are so tight people can tell I'm not Jewish looking at them.
• A college coach from a big NCAA school (Steve Wojciechowski) not ignoring Adelaide on his national tour. Hopefully Paul Arnott's insistence on showing off his tattoo on his chest which reads "Die Sturt Die" before each session won't turn him off the idea of coming back to Adelaide.
• Paul Rees, 11 points 4 rebounds in only 15 minutes.
• Lyn Wieland and her in the works book about the Woodville Warriors.
• Matt Elder 29 points, 10 rebounds and a MVP award on 13/19 shooting.
• Mike Mckay, crediting his long life to Satan.
• The Andrew Gaze Story, a great read especially the sections on college and the NBA. My only gripe is the opening chapters about his childhood. His life was too perfect and boring. Surely if you're going to write an auto-biography about your life, and plan to do a chapter on your childhood you at least need an abusive father story to make it interesting. Still there are some revelations in the book, such as when Andrew reveals the only reason he got so much playing time at the Melbourne Tigers was because his mother was sleeping with the coach.
• Ricky Gervis new show "Extras".
• Jason Dix, 24 points, 14 rebounds.
• Cameron Wilson's 10 assists.
• Jet Li's new film Unleashed. His best film since leaving Hong Kong in 1998.
• Matt Sutton, 13 points, 8 rebounds, 7 assists.

• Last week's list. Ok sorry for the crime against humanity that was last week's list, but I don't think it was the worst thing to ever occur to South Australian basketball like some people are saying. Surely it's no worse than during the match when Mike Mckay's Alzheimer's finally got the better of him and he had flashbacks to being in the Boer War. It was surely a horrid sight to see Mckay peering from behind the North bench as if it was a trench speaking to Erik Burdon sitting next to him as if he was another solider in combat. "It's 1899 and my life expectancy is only 35, I've been lucky to make it to 47, if those damn Boers keep making ground I won't reach fifty in 1902." Neither was it as bad as when Paul Bell injured his back by slipping on a wet patch on the court where Cheapshot had lost control of his bladder while doing a drop-step. It wasn't great for children to see Paul Bell get off the ground and pull out a semi-automatic emptying a clip into the courtside speaker in frustration. Granted it wasn't great, but this list jumped the shark months ago. If you want comedy go watch TCP coach on Friday nights in his clown shoes while his players salute him military style. Or watch in amusement as his players walk away from the time-out whispering "Our coach is really gay" only for TCP to fire back with "There will be no homosexual talk in my military solider". Or go to the Triple Zero offices and watch as Isaac complains about not having enough cash to run this site before leaving work in his Ferrari 2004 575M Maranello F1 worth $265,000 throwing $100 notes from his car to the sidewalk driving down the Parade shouting "Have a nice life bitches." In any case, this list is only for education now, we stopped doing comedy months ago.
• WHAT THE F**K WAS UP WITH THE MUSIC AT THE ABL GRAND FINAL????? At one stage it sounded like they had a recording from a year 7 music class where every student picks up a bass guitar and attempts to slaughter smoke on the water to their best ability on loop. Who the hell did the music Saturday night and if they're reading this can they please tell me what new highly concentrated drug they consumed before selecting the music for the game? A recording of the Olsen sisters vomiting into a toilet after a meal may have played better during time-outs.
• North Adelaide charging assistant coaches in uniform for entry. No other stadiums actually invoke this rule.
• Pantano, has more shoes than a woman.
• Complaints of life being difficult for Basa due to revenue streams decreasing. The main loss of revenue being that of 36er ticket sales. There would have to be a fair bit or irony in feeling bitter towards ex-fans who no longer go to 36er games, and in the next sentence speak of potential legal action against 36ER fans for making negative remarks.
• Erin Phillips shooting 7/22 and missing an open lay-up in a grand final.
• People who dont like to use phones or e-mail but want to do everything "face to face" Its 2005!
• Jesse macartney announcing plans to come to Adelaide. Yet another example of how community standards are being lowered.
• The ridicule of Luke Mapunda's selection to the academy squad. The fact of the matter is Leroy has a 6 foot 5 athletic NBL style body with the potential to step up. But at the same time, it is true that Luke probably isn't even in the best five players at Woodville right now. He performed well in his junior career being the fifth player on court everyone forgot about (after matching up with Zorich, Burdon, Pini and Bruson who guards Mapunda) and is pretty much fulfilling the same role in the Woodville line-up. Still I'm excited to see if the Academy concept can develop potential and turn it into bona fide talent.
• Rick Castle dancing on the sideline of the Woodville v Sturt game looking like Steady Eddie trying to run.
• Nightclubs not being allowed to deny males entry due to their being too many men already in the club. Fact of the matter is men are already denied entry, except bouncers make up stupid reasons for their non admittance. Bouncer: "I'm Sorry it's midget night?" "Midget night? But I'm TCP, I'm four foot tall!" Bouncer: "I'm sorry not short enough, but your eight foot tall girlfriend can come in." At least if the truth was spoken maybe less drunken brawls with cocky bouncers will occur
• Guys who claim they forget to shave in the morning and grow a full beard within a matter of hours. They strut around all day gloating at guys like me who can only grow one hair on their chin in six months. It's just male posturing to cover up for their other insecurities. So remember, whenever you hear a man say they haven't shaved today, they may have a big beard, but they're only concerned with their small phone.
• Colin Brown, the Southern coach who entered an opposition time out huddle, being promoted to a div 1 spot. I suggest opposition under 14 division 1 team bring bouncers for their junior matches versus Southern in the up-coming season. Actually this is good for clubs who are short of coaches, because even no one is appointed to division 1 your sure there will be a coach in your huddle come the final 3 minutes of a close match. Congrats Colin!
  

• There have been a lot of great stories over the season, Jye Watson's rise at Centrals, Brad Gerlach's continued improvement. Nick Hambour stepping up. And then you have Dix, Ng and Forman rising to Central conference dominance. Also apparently some person named Bowley played ok as well. But my find of the year is for a move many on these forums were calling a terrible move. Kevin Brooks as coach. While only on the outside looking in, KB seemed to have a great impact on the team. Cameron Wilson had his best year yet under Brooks along with many of the players, and KB was able to take a relatively under talented team to the promised land. Also what is so promising about KB is that he hasn't let the instant success go to his head, admitting he still has a lot to learn in the coming years on Talking Hoops. Just thinking out aloud, but Smyth won't be around forever. Breheny doesn't apparently want to be a head coach after his Geelong stint and Ninnis may not be that far off a head coaching gig already. KB certainly knows how to handle media and make himself personable to fans. A possible future 36er coach one day? Congrats to KB for becoming the find of the year.

• Unlike the find of the year, I don't find this so hard. Without a doubt the flop of the year would have to be the Norwood Basketball Club's ABL men's program. At the start of the season many on here were talking up the great recruitment of Rupert Sapwell as coach and some were talking up Norwood as minor premiers. Not only did Norwood suck during the year on their way to a 3-15 record, but they were for the most part extremely boring, except for some Scott Arnold brilliance every couple of weeks. Only 3 players shot above 40% from the field for the season, with Norwood's leading scorer in Keith Krause shooting 34% from the field and 28% beyond the arc. If the coach's name was Michael Cobbing or Matt Dodson he would have most likely been sacked by now, but seeming as Rupert Sapwell was always talked up as a potentially great coach, will Jenny Clarke show some patience and give Sapwell time to turn things around? Rupert Sapwell and the Norwood Flames = flop.

• Over the season I get quite a few e-mails with fan questions. Unfortunately I can't answer all of them but in this section I will try to address the more pressing issues.
• Letter #1: Dear DC, Why so harsh on Mike Mckay? He was third in scoring for his team over the season and finished with 5 rebounds and 3 assists. Maybe it's time you give him, as the kids say "mad props" on the list. Your friend, Mike's mother.
• DC: But he only shot the ball at 37% from the field and 28% behind the arc. But in reality you're right, I probably have neglected him a bit, given he is the greatest geriatric ever to play ABL.
• Letter # 2: Dear DC, Is Isaac in good health? Last month I saw him in the middle of Rundle Street stripped down to his underwear lying on the road in front of incoming traffic.
• DC: Mr. Forman was dehydrated.
• Letter #3: Dear DC, Have you been able to keep your New Years resolution?
• DC: Yes, not once this year while visiting strip clubs have I used Jason Baylis' name to get a free lap dance from strippers.
• Letter # 4:Dear DC, Just writing to congratulate you on another great list. Also good work on being acquitted on 12 counts of check fraud.
• DC: It was 9 count of check fraud.
• Letter #5: Dear DC, where the f**k is the new list? Two weeks and still not completed?
• DC: At the grand final EC was kind enough to provide me with a bottle of Johnny Black for my birthday. While a great gift I was on a 12 step plan. I had a lapse and ended up comatose in a gutter down Hindley Street for two weeks and have ended up playing away all my house savings to the mob in games of Texas no-limit hold em. My life is ruined. Thanks EC.

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