I wish i had coaches who brought out brilliant one-liners like that.

Wait no i don't, they sucked.

Catch the big round red thing please, its a basketball...

You guys just keep pissing it right down your leg!!!

I'm only going to say this once, Defence Defence Defence

D.Spear

Paul Bell is the king of one-liners as long as you can handle him repeating them. The best I have heard from him was to a ref where he said, "Mate you need a snorkel cos you're out of your depth!"

A certain coach at West called a time out and said

"Right, we are going into a 2-3-2 trap."

graham "bomber" kubank

we gotta nut up!

What about Belly's comment to a ref, "you could at least buy me a drink first before you bend me over and...."

(Due to recent politicians protests, this comment was edited for kids)

Panther... Mate I see you trying plenty of one liners on a Saturday night?? Some of these could be modified and used in your assault of the phillies??

Back when I was at North, we played Al in resies, and my team mate was at the line and missed his first shot. Another team mate lining up went up to him and said "next one mate" (or something along the lines of that), to which Al said
"What, are you going to suck his d*%k next?"

And, I think from the same game, Al and Dallas Quigley were going at it and Dal got subbed out. Al walked over to the bench and asked him what he was thinking about. Dal had this blank look on his face, and Al said "I'm thinking about breaking your FACE". When Dal told us this after the game we lost it.

if you have ever had mark davis as a coach you will know all about his one liners which never really made much sense but provided some humour in the locker room.

"that's a tough loss to lose"
"i'm not gonna stand here and shit in your pockets"

they are just a couple from the vault. he also had a great story about a tiger but no-one has even remotely enough time to read about it, its just for those who were there on the night.

What about....

-Hey Ref, can I be ejected for what I think? No, I think you are a c***.
-There is no glory in Defence, only victory.
-Defence, what defence can't guard a tree.

That is meant to say....

Defence, what defence, he/she can't guard a tree.

Umpire to coach" Please coach can you ask your bench to keep it quite?"

Coach to umpire" starting umpiring better and give us nothing to yell about!!!!"

MMango ...

Which Mango brother are you ? What is Moshe doing these days ?

I'm Micah the less skilled of the bunch.
Moshe he's living over in the states , last I heard he was studying criminal psychology and becoming a police officer.
Unfortunately he made a bad choice of community college and just couldn't get it together. Now he just working on getting a decent job.

What about..."...and Pecker, what the hell are you doing out there?" Peck..."I haven't been on yet coach!"

Niel Gliddon to a certain u/16 State player a few years ago.

"You've been terrible out there. What the hell are you doing?"

Player "I haven't even been on..."

Playing div 3 men for Forestville at Hillcrest one night, our inspirational coach had obviously been watching too much TV or was just a big fan of Maccas. With our season on the line he pointed to the opposition and quoted a Maccas commercial: "Thos guys stole our fries!"

Needless to say, we got our fries back and won the game!

i dunno about comedic one liners but as far as big lines in games

"Stay tough, Stay tough, thats what its all about" - Pat Riley

not quick witted just the truth

"I've hit maccas harder then that" after a charge call at the dome

For more than 28 years, NBA teams have relied on Marty Blake, the NBA's director of scouting services, to find the answers. NBA general managers enjoy Blake's honest assessments of players, including, "He's a seven-footer with one notable attribute: He's alive!" and, "He's a three-point shooter, not necessarily a three-point maker."