Interesting topic, yes probably been done before I'd imagine and at the risk of covering old territory I will try to give the original poster what I know...
Before I do, just a quick response to the anon who believes this is a S.A. exclusive forum where other users need to announce themsleves beforehand, 'now that you have been awoken, welcome to the real ....... world mate'!
Okay, back on track. I have been in both situations, having left a smaller or less successful club for one which is considered larger and more successful.
Also I have been and still am involved in both a smaller club which occasionally loses players to larger clubs and one of the largest in our town.
A few pointers I have learnt along the way:
1. Every club is individual, the people who run the club are key; It's culture and outside perception is about those who are involved, not the size of the club.
2. The harder you try to hold on to a player the tighter the squeeze, therfore the more pressur and the end result is cracks start to appear and before long you lose control and lose respect.
3. Kids with talent will sort themselves out, no matter where they go, but they will seek something better if their original club can't provide it, fair enough too, as they will not grow if they are the big fish in a small pond. Tough, but fact!
4. Kids with less talent, however seeking glory with stronger teams/clubs, end up no better off and no happier so you will find they will complain no matter where they go. Also a fact...
5. Have an open door policy, let everyone decide for themselves. If integrity is the issue, look at your club from top to bottom and ask yourself 'what is it that makes our club attractive/unattractive'.
6. Honesty and the right people involved will always win out and remember that new kids will always come along to play hoops so if your club is a good one (big or small), it doesn't matter if another club poaches because people change for reasons, you just have to work out why!
Last thing, why is your club there? Ask yourself that question first of all then check your club's mission statement and read it, might open your eyes a bit, cheers... :]