Semi-related: anyone else fallen in love with the style of writing in these sorts of announcements? It's a tough gig because a lot of facts, info and numbers needs to be conveyed in a short space of time, but the way it all tumbles along is awesome.
I think pretty much any information presented in these things would get past me. Here's a grab from a mythical Sixers import announcement:
The Adelaide Sixers have announced the signing of point centre Zealous Tower.
Tower hails from West Chiko Roll, Kansas and was a standout player at Northern Greater Central Alaska State University. He was named twice to the Global Warming Conference All-Turnover Team, and is a life member of the NGCASU canteen administration authority.
In four seasons at NGCASU, he averaged 19.8 points, 8.7 rebounds and 2 doughnuts a game, and led his team to 3 NIAINIANIA tournament appearances.
Tower drinks milk from his shoes, and has played professionally in Ireland, Scotland, Wales and the Isle of Man. He has never used a Golden Eagle in any form of Angry Birds.