All right now you've done it.
The English Cricket team (Yes from a few years ago) go to a chinese restaurant. Graham Gooch orders for the team and orders them all an entree of turtle soup.
So half an hour goes past and Gooch demands to know where his entrees are.
Gooch : Waiter, what seems to be the problem? We've been waiting half an hour for an entree.
Waiter : Very sorry, sir. The chef is having problems killing the turtles. The little buggers keep pulling their heads in when he goes to lop them off.
Gooch : Well, tell him to bring out a meat cleaver, a chopping board and a couple of turtles.
So the waiter disappears, returns with the chef, a meat cleaver, a chopping board and a couple of turtles.
Gooch places the chopping board down, grabs a turtle, jams his finger straight up the poor things arse and, when it pokes it's head out in shock, he decapitates it.
Gooch : Got it, Chef?
Chef : Not sure, sir.....Can you do one more?
So again, Gooch places the chopping board down, grabs a turtle, jams his finger straight up the poor things arse and, when it pokes it's head out in shock, he decapitates it.
Gooch : Got it now, Chef?
Chef : I think I have, sir.....Many thanks.
Waiter : Very good Mr Gooch, but as the captain of the English cricket team, how did you now how to do this?
Gooch : We go to many functions in our position as International Sportsmen, some of them quite fancy. I've found that this is the only reliable way to get a neck-tie on Gladstone Small.