Belgium is too wet, Cincinnati gets too cold, but Brisbane is just right for top Bullets import Bobby Brannen.
The American thinks the city is so good he has started the long process to gain Australian citizenship.
The Bullets are assisting Brannen, who would become a valuable weapon for the NBL club if he was classified as an Australian player rather than a restricted import.
But Brannen insists he is not seeking citizenship just to help the Bullets, who host Perth tomorrow night at the Convention Centre.
He is doing it because he wants to settle in Australia after his playing days are finished.
"I've ended up somewhere I really like. I'm really happy here and I love living here," Brannen said yesterday.
"Australia is like America but, in many ways to me, it's better."
Brannen, 29, is following the path set by Leroy Loggins and Derek Rucker, who became Australian citizens after playing many of their decorated NBL seasons with the Bullets.
The process could take several years but Brannen is only 29 and plans to play well into his 30s.
"We have a great team owner in Eddy Groves and a great coach (Joey Wright), who I like playing for, so there is no point in me looking anywhere else at the moment," Brannen said.
"If I didn't have family and friends back home, I probably wouldn't even leave Brisbane in the off-season."
But Brannen enjoys catching up with his close family, including five sisters and one brother, in the Cincinnati summer when the Bullets finish their season.
Brannen has taught his parents Bob and Debbie to surf the Internet so they can follow the progress of their eldest son, who is one of the NBL's top imports.
He has averaged 17 points and almost 10 rebounds in the past three years to help the Bullets surge from wooden-spooners to title threats.
It's a much happier environment for Brannen than the Belgian stint that soured his first professional season in 1998.
"I was miserable most of the time in Belgium. It was very dreary for me because it rains a lot and the language barrier made it much tougher," he said.
"I gave up quite a bit of money to come here in the first place but there is still no comparison. I won't be going back to Europe."
But don't expect Brannen to blend into every Australian custom.
Cricket is simply not his preferred sport.