Rotate on this, I agree with your entire post. The hands in the back rule was introduced to the AFL to cover for the incompetence of the AFL umpiring roster and their complete inability to make a common sense judgement about when a hand in the back is or isn't an advantage.
The writing was on the wall with the AFL more than a decade ago when the league starting putting mics on the umpires during games. Umpires should be as inanimate as the grass on the oval. In modern day professional sport, they are not. It is the same in cricket.
The NBL has a handful of exceptional referees, guys like Butler, Mildenhall, Hunt, Aylon, and (IMO) Godden. These guys control a game, are consistent in their interpretation, and have built enough of a rapor with players and coaches that when they need to interject their personalities they are able to do it in an effective manner. The younger breed of NBL referees (all about 30, the same age as me), have very little idea of how to do this. The game can never be made great by the umpires, only ruined by them.
In my opinion, the rule in most sports which prevents public criticism of referees is counter-productive. If an official makes an ABSOLUTELY SHITHOUSE call and it has a massive impact on deciding a game, then he/she should be publically accountable. The Celtics had that situation yesterday, with that disgusting charge call in the final seconds. That call was flat out wrong, indefensible, and helped to cost Boston a game (scoring 69 points doesn't help either). Doc Rivers et al SHOULD be free to comment on that call without the posibility of league penalty. Referees are not Gods, the older ones seem to get this, but the younger ones don't.
Sympomatic of this, that AFL game in Tasmania where the siren malfunctioned and play continued after the end of full time was a shocker, but not because the siren wasn't loud enough, but because a certain field umpire was so arrogant that he ignored the fact that about 12 players around the ball where telling him that the siren had gone, and bounced the ball anyway. Unacceptable.
On the flip side, there is little incentive to become a referee, but I believe that is because the standard in most sports has plunged to such a dramatic low that there is now the presumption of failure, and it is this that stops people from entering the profession.