torn acl
Years ago

NH - Morale booster # 14

The following were results for an Ozwords Competition where entrants were asked to take an Australian word, alter it by only one
letter, and supply a new and witty definition? You clearly need to be an Aussie to understand.

Billabonk: to make passionate love beside a waterhole.
Bludgie: a partner who doesn't work but is kept as a pet.
Dodgeridoo: a fake indigenous artefact.
Fair drinkum: good quality Aussie wine.
Flatypus: a cat that has been run over by a vehicle.
Mateshit: all your flat mate's belongings lying strewn around the floor.
Shagman: an unemployed male roaming the Australian bush in search of sexual activity.
Yabble: the unintelligible language of Australian freshwater crustaceans.
Bushwanker: a pretentious drongo who reckons he's above average when it comes to handling himself in the scrub.
Crackie daks: 'hipster' tracksuit pants.
Shornbag: a particularly attractive naked sheep.

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Ostrich 79
Years ago

I think that last one is from the NZ version of Kath and Kim ;)

Reply #133384 | Report this post

torn acl
Years ago

now try this one !

Best Come Back Line Ever

- This was apparently in the Washington Post - the title of which was,
"Best Come Back Line Ever."

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male
resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday.

Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency,
and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop.
"You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for
miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road picked out a
pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and
proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need."
"Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police
car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor
approached him.

"That was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked
up to Lawrence and he was just...... pumping away at this pumpkin."

Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just
went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with
a pumpkin?'

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me
straight in the face and said,

"A pumpkin? F**k me, is it midnight already?"

Reply #133388 | Report this post

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NH - Morale booster # 14

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